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October 14, 2009

I signed up for a six-week eft teleclass on weight loss. I had the first call last night. It was an intro session with some tapping for cravings and the guilt associated from eating things you think you shouldn’t. Prior to this session, I had been thinking a lot about why I don’t feel safe around men.

Some details: my dad cheated on my mom and left her (and us) for a woman he worked with. After the divorce, my mom was seeing a married man who was cheating on his wife. One of my sisters dated several married men that were cheating on their wives. That leaves me and one other sister as the only members of my immediate family that have not done this. I think this is a huge deal to me and subconscious. Statistically it doesn’t look good for me, although I know I would never cheat. I think this has a great deal to do with my emotional obesity.

After thinking about this for the past few days, the teleclass, tapping on my own, and listening to Jon’s cd last night, I had a very strange dream. I almost never remember my dreams. I was walking somewhere when I passed a man I recognized as my dad. I stopped and he recognized me. He gave me a weird smile of recognition. A smirk really. This really set me off. I started yelling at him that it was his fault that my mom and my sisters were left in poverty after the divorce. I stated punching him. I don’t get in punching fights. This is not typical behavior for me. I also don’t remember ever having a dream where I was punching someone. I feel like I’m making progress. I hope it continues.

On a lighter note, I have been continuing with my exercise and eating green smoothies.


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